Monday, April 20, 2009


Forget about frying chickens at Coachella. Don’t molt in the sun at Bonnaroo. The hottest event this year is the Orifice World Tour 2009.

In case you’ve been living in a shell, let’s bring you up to speed:

The Orifice World Tour is just beginning, but so far is making a big splash all around the world, and beyond. Here is the schedule so far:

March 27
Sherman Oaks, CA
Headliner: Wisdom Tooth Extraction
Opening Act: Novacaine

April 21
Mission Hills, CA
Headliner: Colonoscopy
Opening Act: The Cramps

To get the most out this unique experience, please remember the following:

• Avoid solid foods.
• Clear liquid diet only.
• Don’t do drugs; instead drink four liters of this shit called Tri-Lyte before the performance.
• As always, use Kirkland Signature for all your paper needs.

More dates will be announced soon. Keep checking this blog, or look for listings in Peeple Magazine.


  1. Are there any tickets left for the April 21st event? Festival style seating only? In any event, it's sounds like a very fluid situation.

  2. Standing room only, but I know you do need to pass through a long narrow tube to get to the mosh pit.

  3. Hm. I never did like moshing. Perhaps I'll wait for the HBO version.

  4. Are u peddling any souvenirs or t-shirts from these events? I'm a sucker for that kinda stuff!
    U could really clean up if u are (in lotsa ways).