Saturday, November 6, 2010

DON'T EAT THIS OR THAT!

Here is the definitive list of foods with names featuring two words that should never go together, and that you should therefore never eat.

They also make great pet names for your spouse, lover, or otherwise significant other-person.

Eggplant
(I’m not technically a botanist, but I still don’t think eggs come from plants.)

Carrot Cake
(Why would I want something healthy ruining a perfectly good piece of cake?)

Cheese Cake
(Cheese on a sandwich? Sounds delicious. On my pizza? Bring it! In a cake? I don’t think so.)

Steak Tartar
(Isn’t tartar that stuff the dentist scrapes off your teeth? Hey, let’s put some on our ribeye!)

Butt Roast
(Just think of your butt, and all that entails, and then eat it.)

Butt Roast, Bone In
(No comment.)

Chicken Nuggets
(Nugget-anything is never a good sign.)

Chicken Tenders
(How did they get that tender? I don’t want to know. Good stripper name, though.)

Meat Loaf
(Sounds too casual.)

Meat Balls
(Yeah, let’s grind up this dead flesh and form it into balls!)

Melon Balls
(If I were a melon, I’d object to being forced into this unnatural shape.)

Baby Back Ribs
(Jeffrey Dahmer’s favorite meal.)

Tater Tots
(See above.)

Chocolate Mousse
(Don’t people put mousse in their hair?)

1 comment:

  1. LOL. I love all that stuff... except the meat loaf and the egg plant. Loaves are for bread, not meat.

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