Wednesday, September 29, 2010
CHRISTINE O’DONNELL: DID SHE OR DIDN’T SHE SAY IT?
After she surprisingly won the Republican senate primary in Delaware, several quotes from Christine O’Donnell have surfaced. They have amused some and outraged others, but most people agree that she definitely reflects the intelligence of Tea Party members.
Here are some real quotes from O’Donnell, along with some that we have programmed through our Fun With Chickens joke processor.
Can you tell: Did she or didn’t she say this?
A. "We took the Bible and prayer out of public schools. Now we're having weekly shootings. We had the 60s sexual revolution, and now people are dying of AIDS."
B. “The economy is like a baby’s tummy. If you rub it long enough and burp it, it will release gas and feel better.”
C. “It’s time we take America back, get the government off our backs, and end the wholesale massacre of chickens not just on Earth, but worldwide.”
D. "I dabbled into witchcraft. I never joined a coven." / "One of my first dates with a witch was on a satanic altar."
E. “It is true that many religious leaders believe that God created Hurricane Katrina because He was upset that Sanjaya didn’t win “American Idol.”
F. "American scientific companies are cross-breeding humans and animals and coming up with mice with fully functioning human brains."
G. “In some cultures, women are still allowed to look men directly in the eye when they speak to them. As your senator, I will work hard to change that.”
H. "You know what, evolution is a myth." / "Why aren't monkeys still evolving into humans?"
I. “I once had a Shiatsu that looked just like my Uncle Fleebus. But that doesn’t mean evolution is a factual thing.”
J. “I believe the death penalty should only be applied to people who are really gnarly.”
K. “I and many others do not believe in the myth of global warming. How can this be possible when just yesterday my nana said the house was chilly?”
L. "During the primary, I heard the audible voice of God. He said, 'Credibility.'"
M. “If we allow gay people the freedom to marry each other, it won’t be long before we grant the same rights to unhappy people as well.”
True statements: A, D, F, H, L
Almost true statements: All the rest.