• When someone describes something as being “phenomenal,” it never really is. (A colleague once actually told me that the entertainment on her cruise ship was “phenomenal.” Uh, yeah.)
• Nobody over the age of 10 should ever use the phrases, “Sweet!” or “You rock!”
• At lease once during any meeting in any workplace, someone will say either (a) “Why reinvent the wheel?” or (b) “At the end of the day…”
• Hairdressers and barbers always have the worst hairdos and haircuts, just as people who work at cosmetic counters or beauty supply stores always have the worst makeup.
• We already know who will win “The Biggest Loser.” It will be the one who loses the most weight. (Oops, spoiler alert!)
• Approximately 75% of plays that win the Tony suck.
• Approximately 75% of books that win the Pulitzer Prize suck.
• Nobody—that’s right, nobody—looks good in a sleeveless shirt.*
(* This comment provided by Sleeve Makers Union, Local 17, 33/34.)